Kenny Rogers was wrong. You always count your money while you’re sitting at the table.

Not knowing how you’re doing money-wise would be like a golfer not paying attention to penalty strokes. You have no idea of how well you’re doing, no way to know if your game is improving, no way to set or attain goals. Poker is not for slackers; in terms of effort to master the game, it requires as much dedication and work as the hardest working professional athletes. Minus all the sweating.

In no-limit games, if you don’t know how much you have in front of you, you’re double-fucked. Your chips are a form of strength–the more you have, the more you can push people around & make them play reactively. You always want to have a good idea of how many chips the other players at the table have–why on earth wouldn’t you want to have an even better idea about how many chips you have in front of yourself?

And don’t tell me about it being bad luck. Bad luck is not knowing that you’re hemorrhaging money. Whether or not you’re counting your little plastic chips has nothing to do whatsoever with what the cards do. Picking up bad habits out of a misguided sense of superstition is a sure bet for losing your bankroll. Just don’t do it.

Doyle Brunson, in his book Poker Wisdom of a Champion, tells a story about a game he was at where someone sat down and noticed Doyle counting down his chips. He admonished Doyle not to do that–that everyone knows you never count your money while you’re sitting at the table. When the guy left the table flat broke several hours later, another player at the table (I forget his name and don’t have the book in front of me) called after him, and I paraphrase, “You were right. If you wait ’til you’re done, they’re a lot easier to count!”

Not that Kenny Rogers didn’t write one hell of a song.

Posted by Beck as Poker at 3:10 PM PDT

2 Comments »

When I first started reading books and blogs about poker, there were several times when I had no idea what was being said. I was clueless! Since I had a hard time finding out what these things meant, I decided I’d keep a list common phrases tossed around the poker world. Hopefully, this will help my fellow guppies. This is my list of poker definitions, poker jargon and poker acronyms. If you have any corrections or additions, please let me know!

Ajax - Pocket AJ

Aggressive - Playing style where the player frequently raises

American Airlines - Pocket pair of Aces, aka Bullets

Bad Beat - When a good hand loses to a dominated hand, aka being sucked out on

Bankroll - Money or chips used to play poker, aka ‘roll

Bicycle - A hand containing a straight from Ace to Five, aka Wheel

Big Slick - Pocket cards consisting of AK

Blank - Card that doesn’t improve your hand, aka Brick

Bluff - Betting, or raising, when you don’t have the best hand

Boat - Full House

Calling Station - Player who typically does not raise and consistently calls without proper odds

Canadian Hammer - Pocket 62

Cap or Capping - A limit placed on the number of bets placed by each player per round

Check-Raise - Checking, then raising someone else’s bet; usually used as a trap

Connectors - Two pocket cards in numerical sequence

Cowboys - Pocket pair of kings

Dead Man’s Hand - A hand consisting of a pair of aces and a pair of eights. (This is the hand Wild Bill Hickock was holding when he was shot in the back.)

Dominated - A hand with significantly lower chances of winning

Drawing Dead - Hand with no chance of winning, even after drawing additional cards

Early Position (EP) - First couple of players to bet in a round, depending on number of players at the table

Good Buddy - Pocket 10 4, aka Roger That

Grinding - Playing conservatively to minimize risk, usually resulting in modest positive results

Gutshot - Drawing hand where one card in the middle of the sequence is needed for a straight (J1087, only a 9 will make a straight)

Hammer - Pocket 72, blogger signature hand

Hilton Sisters - Pocket queens, aka Gabor Sisters

IGHN - I Go Home Now; said when a player loses all their chips

Jack Hammer - J2 or J4, depending on where you’re from

Jackson 5 - Pocket j5, aka Motown

Loose/Aggressive (LAG) - Style of play where a player bets often and rarely folds

Late Position (LP) - One of the last players to bet in a round

Limping - Calling instead of raising pre-flop

Loose - Style of play where a player rarely folds

Maverick - Pocket Q J

MHIG - My Hand Is Good; a winning hand

Middle Position (MP) - Between Early Position and Late Position

Muck - To fold, or another name for the discard pile

Nuts - In a given situation, the best possible hand for a player in poker

On the Button - Being in the dealer’s position, considered the best position because player gets to act last

Outs - Number of cards left in the deck that will complete your hand

Overpair - A pair of cards higher than any other card on the board

Passive - Playing style where player is more inclined to call than bet

Pocket Pair â - Hole cards of the same rank, aka Wired Pair

Position - Your seat relative to the betting order

Ring Game - A normal game for stakes, not a free game or tournament; aka cash game

Rock - A player who is tight and/or passive

Sandbagging - Playing a good hand conservatively to fool other players, aka trapping, slow playing

Semi-Bluff - Making a bet while holding a hand that is not currently the best hand, but may improve

Set - Three of a kind, aka Trips

Suck Out - When a dominated hand gets one of the few cards needed to win

Tight - Conservative play style

Tilt, On - Playing recklessly after losing

Top Pair - A pair consisting of the highest community card and a pocket card

Under the Gun (UTG) - Being in early position, thus being first to act

Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 10:31 AM PDT

7 Comments »

Jaxia has invited me to do some poker blogging here as a guest. My own blog, INCITE, is more of a politics blog, and though I’ve occasionally done some poker blogging there, it’s a tad out of place. As such, I’m happy to contribute here.

I think I’ll make a nice compliment to Jaxia. Her game is no-limit, my game is limit. She plays almost exclusively online, I play exclusively live games (it’s nice living just 60 miles from Atlantic City). Jaxia plays low-stakes, and I play, er, slightly less low stakes ($6-$12 usually).

Also, this is my first time using WordPress, so if something comes out with godawful looking formatting, you’ll know why. Hmm… wonder what this button does…

Posted by Beck as Poker at 2:16 AM PDT

1 Comment »

The scene: Me and 1500 n00bs in the $1 tournament (99 paid)
The instigator: WANNABE
His offense: Constantly yelling in chat and talking trash
His accomplices: Fanbois egging him on

Just after the first break, I managed to double up. I spent the second hour bouncing around the top twenty, while the field narrowed to ~150. Around the third break, there was a loud BANG! and a cloud of smoke. WANNABE was here.

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day

With only 15 more people to boot before we’re in the money, WANNABE managed to accumulate 3x my chip stack. After watching him berate players for 30-45 minutes, the following exchange took place:

With blinds at T300/600 and my chip stack approximately T25K, I limp in EP with KJo. A couple other limpers, and it’s around to WANNBE in the BB. WANNABE min raises and says, “NO LIMPING. MY NAME IS DOYLE BRUNSON AND IM ALL IN.”

The rest clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast.
They thought, “if only Casey could but get a whack at that.”

I call and see the flop: KJx rainbow.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place,
there was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile lit Casey’s face.

He checks to me, and I bet 3/4 of the pot. Everyone else folds; WANNBE merely calls. Turn is another J and he checks it to me. He opts to call for a second time. River is harmless and it is checked to me again. I bet out, wishing on all my past due mojo for a call so I can show my hand. Some lucky charm came through for me: He calls and MHIG. I say, “Thanks for the lesson.”

As the chips are still sliding my way, he says, “ILL SHOW YOU A LESSON. MY NAME IS PHIL HELLMUTH AND IM ALL IN.”

The cards are dealt, and I raise 4x BB with my pocket 10s.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt.
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.

WANNBE is still yelling in chat, and says, “HERES A LESSON” and triples my raise.

“Strike one!” the umpire said.

I insta-call and see a rainbow flop with all under cards. “HERE IT COMES. MY NAME IS ANNIE DUKE AND IM ALL IN.”

but Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, “Strike two!”

Fire alarms are clanging in my gut, but my hand moves of its own accord and clicks the button.
My name is Jaxia, and I’m all in.

Of course, he has pocket rockets.

“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand

With two cards to come, I’ll need runner-runner or a ten to make it out alive.

The sneer has fled from Casey’s lip, the teeth are clenched in hate.
He pounds, with cruel violence, his bat upon the plate.

I guess I’d already called in all my favors because the river was an ace, and IGHN.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,
but there is no joy in Mudville

I struck out.

I learned a lesson all right, but not the one I expected to learn.

Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 9:44 AM PDT

10 Comments »

Preflop: Hero is MP3 with Qc, Ad.
Flop: 7s, As, 3s
MP1 raises to t3200, 1 fold, Hero raises to t10905, MP1 calls t5825 (All-In).
Turn: 4s
River: Ac

Results:
MP1 has Kc Ah (three of a kind, aces).
Hero has Qc Ad (three of a kind, aces).
Outcome: MP1 wins t18400. Hero wins t1880.

You finished in 113th place out of 1451

Yes, now I realize it was a bone-headed move. At least I made my entry fee - now I’m off to try again!

Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 7:07 PM PDT

No Comments »

In the spirit of Perfect Flop and shameful secrets, I make my own admissions:

Perfect Flop — Fizzy Beverages
1. Dr Pepper
2. Mountain Dew Livewire
3. Grape Nehi

Perfect Flop — Texas Musicians
1. Pat Green
2. Jason Boland
3. Kelly Willis

Perfect Flop — Secret Obsessions
1. The Pretender
2. Pet Shop Boys
3. The Bodyguard

Posted by Jaxia as Life, Music, Poker at 10:31 AM PDT

No Comments »

I’m fairly comfortable playing $1 SNGs and .10/.25 no limit hold em. However, anytime I try to break out of that box, I’m smacked down like a wayward child. After my dismal week at the tables, I resolved to regroup and try again. I spent some time rereading sections in Super/System and fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said, “by the power of Grayskull…I have the power!”

Oops. Sorry about that. After that Halloween truth-or-dare session gone awry, it’s been hard to control.

Uhm, what was I talking about? Oh, right. I suck at poker. Okay, so things really do make more sense now that I’ve played a few hundred hands. I took a shot of Mountain Dew LiveWire for courage and sat down at a .25/.50 game. I’ll be the first to admit it: I was playing scared. The difference is that this time I KNEW I was playing scared and resolved to tread lightly. This seemed to do me some good, and I walked away an hour later with an extra 100BB jangling in my virtual pockets.

Thanks to my nifty bloglines subscription, I realize I’m not the only one who struggles with the initial step into a higher limit. It seems people typically tend to “play scared,” even at $5/$10. Any tips on how to handle it?

–

I’ve made a few changes around here, trying to add some pizzazz. Now, comments can be threaded, and I support Gravatars. Leave me a note and check it out!
(Please let me know if you run into any problems or have any suggestions!)

Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 2:55 PM PDT

3 Comments »

Why do people in tournaments insist on betting into a dry side pot with two under cards and the sucker end of a straight draw?

Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 11:20 AM PDT

No Comments »

I hate keeping up with politics, but Beck over at Incite tries to make it easy for me. I tend to be a little left-leanin’ (despite being from Bush country), but it is hard to argue with things like this from Beck’s latest entry:

Long story short, Newsweek, a notoriously liberal rag, was more than happy to print any allegation made by anyone, regardless of how reliable, so long as it would reflect negatively on the Bush administration and its War on Terror. Now they’ve set American foreign policy back an enormous amount, not to mention getting a bunch of people killed.

Great work Newsweek. It’s not everyone who can say that their printed fabrications are capable of unleashing all four of the apocalypse’s horsemen.

Incite is also the home of Goemagog, the uber-linking king.

Incite is like Rush without the drug addiction!

Posted by Jaxia as Pimpin at 8:37 AM PDT

No Comments »

Come one, come all! Iggy announced another satellite into the WSOP $1500 NL event. This one is open to readers and bloggers. Will you ever have a chance this cheap to play in the WSOP? *shakes the magic 8 ball* Probably Not

The magic 8 ball is never wrong, folks. (Well, except for that one incident with the monkey, some lime jello and a string bikini, but that’s another story…)

Here’s The Scoop:

What: No Limit Satellite for the $1500 WSoP Event
When: Sunday May 15th
Time: 8pm central
Where: Poker Stars
Buy in: $30 + $3
Password: tequila

Remeber, the greatest thing about playing poker online: Clothing is optional! I didn’t play the last one, but I’m trying to talk myself into taking my chance tomorrow.

I haven’t really had a good week at the tables. I’ve found myself staring at the felt a few times too many. I did manage to recover a bit when I joined a table with two LAG players who would bet 5x pot with middle pair. A choice hand or five, and they learned the lovelt taste of felt! Bwahaha!

Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 1:27 AM PDT

13 Comments »