Non-believers, gather ’round and I will testify! Those evil-doers who dare to say the hammer is the worst hand in poker are on a mission from the devil! They are eeeevil, child, and they are trying to mess with your head!
Come, and witness the GLORY of the almighty hammer!
No-Limit Poker, $25 max buyin.
I have $48
Poor Guy has $65
Sucker has $22
I’m dealt the hammer UTG+1, and I pop it up to $1. I get called in 3 places.
*** FLOP *** [5d 7s 7h]
UTG checks, Sucker bets $3, and the rest of us call.
*** TURN *** [5d 7s 7h] [7c]
Sucker bets $10, I call, Poor Guy raises to $25, Sucker calls all-in, I call and the other guy folds.
*** RIVER *** [5d 7s 7h 7c] [2h]
I bet $10, Poor Guy puts me all in, and I call.
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Jaxia: shows [7d 2c] (four of a kind, Sevens)
Poor Guy: shows [Ah Ac] (a full house, Sevens full of Aces)
Sucker mucked 3/5o. I made a note of him.
Does this wealth amaze you? Are you crying out for the poker gods to grace you with the great bounty of the hammer? Do you long to be saved from the eternal torment and damnation of pocket rockets? Send a donation to the email address on the right, and I will submit myself to torture and sacrifice aces to the true poker gods in YOUR name so that ye may be blessed with…the hammer!
Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 4:14 AM PST
7 Comments »
I’ve had a few days to reflect on my trip to Vegas, and I’m still not sure what I expected. But, regardless of what I expected, I got more.
After we settled in, I headed to the Bellagio to play some real Vegas poker. I found a seat at a $4/$8 table full of foreigners. Well, the guy right next to me was from Indiana, but to a Texan, that’s foreign enough!
Okay, so I’ll be honest - I was pretty nervous when I first sat down. I decided I wouldn’t get fancy, and I only played premium hands. As a result, I won a few small pots with big slick and Mrs. Slick. Finally, about an hour into the session, with the English guy still grumbling because I outkicked him, I decide to mix things up. I’m one off the button and announce “Raise” with my 10/9. Small blind pops it again, and 6 of us see a flop of J/10/8 rainbow. When it’s checked to me, I bet and it’s capped as it comes back around to me. My heart does flip flops when all 6 of us see the 7 hit on the turn. The bet and raise from the blinds chase out two guys, but I’m a little nervous. I study the board, trying to see if I missed something; Why are these people so eager to bet? I can’t put anyone on Q9, so I re-raise. This chases out the button, but the SB caps it. When the rag hits on the river, the blinds bet and raise. I make it 3 bets. The guys in the blinds, who happen to be brothers from Iran, are both grumbling and trying to put me on a hand:
“You raise pre-flop with Q9?”
“You have trips?”
I just keep looking at my chips, waiting for them to make their move. The SB actually caps it, and they show pocket aces and pocket queens. I smile my small, secret smile as I slowly flip over my winning straight. With daggers in their eyes and hate in their hearts, they glare at me and mutter to each other about women playing poker.
A few hands later, I’m sure I won a few extra bets because of Mike’s suggestion. I have Ah 9h, and the flop has two hearts. I’d been swapping small talk with the guy from Indiana, and as we wait for other people to make their decision, he points at my ring and says, “So are you here with your boyfriend or husband?” “No, my girlfriend.” He just nods as the turn brings another heart. Knowing the Iranian guys are going to be aggressive, I check and my neighbor asks me, “So are you out here for any special reason?” As I toss out my raise, I say “It’s my anniversary.” Confused, he says, “Your husband?” The river is a rag, and I think everyone called my bet because they were in shock as I answered, “No, my girlfriend.”
Oddly enough, it never occurred to me that I was playing poker in Vegas on a Saturday night and I just might see a professional poker player. When I saw Howard Lederer and Phil Ivey walk into Bobby’s Room, it hit me - I’m in Vegas, baby! Giddy with excitement, I almost plowed into Johnnie Chan as I ran to meet SK. Still bubbling about the pros as we walked through the Bellagio looking for a place to cash out, I notice Daniel Negreanu and point him out. SK has the camera, but I figure he gets tired of people asking him, so we keep walking. After I cash out, he’s in the same spot, and someone else has asked him to take a picture. SK says, “Time for another?” and he agrees.
/fan girl
I got to take a picture with Daniel Negreanu!!
/fan girl off
We also saw Sklansky, but he looked like he was in a bad mood.
When it came time to meet Pauly, I decided I’d walk from Paris to Mandalay Bay. Sheesh, I wish I had asked someone how far down the strip I had to go! I’m tellin’ you, if I were on my way to meet anyone other than Pauly, I would have turned around when I hit New York, New York and realized I still wasn’t there! Luckily, he didn’t bail even though I was about 30 minutes late getting there. Going into it, I assumed we’d spend an hour or so talking about poker, and that’d be it. Boy, am I glad I was wrong!
I started to say it was like meeting up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in awhile, but that doesn’t really explain it. Call me goofy, but I’d say it was more like having drinks with a friend I see all the time. Our conversations were all over the place, and there was never an awkward moment. I was shocked to find out that he also reads my personal blog, and a little embarrassed when he encouraged me to write more. I laughed off his apparently genuine interest, but he’ll be glad to know I’ve had a few sleepless nights since then, my brain aflame with ideas.
Sadly, I wasn’t able to capitalize on Pauly’s well-publicized prop bet addiction, since I couldn’t fit a hoola hoop into my suitcase.
I also got to meet Grubby, but since he didn’t mention saying “I like to suck on it until it is soft” I guess I won’t either.
Posted by Jaxia as Poker at 6:19 PM PDT
5 Comments »
Wil Wheaton will be hosting another tournament tonight at 9 EST. I’ll be there. Exciting, ain’t it?
The details:
What: WWdN: Up4Poker Invitational
Where: PokerStars.
When: Friday, October 28th. 9:00 PM EST
Password: monkey
Tournament number: 14090593
Buy-in: $10+1
See ya there.
Update: Tournament over. Jaxia & I both were knocked out quite early. We have shamed stealtheblinds.net. I did, however, learn something very useful which I’d like to share with everyone else.
How to Lose a Tournament in Three Easy Steps:
Step 1: Be dealt pocket 10’s.
Step 2: Re-raise all-in with them.
Step 3: Get called by one player with pocket Queens and another player with pocket Kings.
Amusingly, the flop was 10 high, so it looked like I had a chance, but the river was a king, so for once, the river brought justice rather than a bad beat. Justice to the other guy that is. I was out of the tournament. Still, I had a good time, and thanks to Wil Wheaton for organizing things.
Posted by Beck as Poker at 4:58 PM PDT
No Comments »
I decided to play some heads-up SNGs on PokerStars today. For the most part, I found myself walking over the field, and then I found myself in a match with a really solid player. Things went back and forth for a long time without anyone gaining a clear lead. Then something funny happened.
I was dealt THE HAMMER (seven-deuce offsuit for the uninitiated) and bluffed with it (which is mandatory when you’re dealt THE HAMMER). My opponent, a fellow who goes by the nom de poker “GameC” folded to a largish bet on the turn. When he did, I showed my bluff.
“Nice,” he observed.
“THE HAMMER!” I reflected.
“Are you a blog reader/writer?” he queried.
It turns out I was playing against the proprietor of Pathetic Poker, none other than G-Vegas’s own… er… I’m not sure what his real name is. But he goes by “Gamecock,” which is fine by me. He was a terrific player, and I had a hunch that the outcome of the game was going to come down to luck.
Then the fateful hand came up. I was dealt big slick, and we were off. I bet the ace-high flop and GameC raised me. The turn brought a king, and he bet very heavily. While a straight was possible, I didn’t figure he had that, as he wouldn’t be betting the nuts so heavily (he bet something like 500 in chips if I recall). With top two-pair I raised all-in.
“You caught my hammer bluff,” he informed me.
I was courteous enough to show him my cards after he folded. That hand crippled him, and while the battle went on for a while after, I eventually knocked him out.
So two bits of advice: if you find yourself heads-up with GameC on PokerStars, watch your ass, ‘cuz he’s a seriously dangerous player. And if you get THE HAMMER, tell him I said, “Hi,” as you drop it on him.
Posted by Beck as Poker at 2:36 PM PDT
6 Comments »
Beck has posted some reviews of casinos in his stomping grounds, Atlantic City (Caesars, Showboat, Borgata), so I thought I could do the same for casinos in my backyard.
One problem: while the Trump casino’s poker room is the nicest I’ve ever been to, I’ve only been to . . . three. So it doesn’t really mean much. But here goes, anyway:
When you’re in Trump’s poker room, you almost forget that you’re actually on a boat. The room is airy with high ceilings. It has plasma TVs so players can follow sports action, an adjacent deli and coffee bar and — I’ve rarely seen these in any casinos, much less poker rooms — windows. The view is not that spectacular when the boat is docked, but when the boat was offshore it was probably nice. Unfortunately for the aesthetics, but fortunately for gameplay, a change in Indiana state law made it so the boats don’t have to hoist anchor to make gaming legal.
Trump spreads limit hold’em at levels as low as $3/$6. They also boast no-limit hold’em plus pot-limit Omaha and Omaha Hi-Lo games. Sit-N-Gos also occur regularly, but the buy-in is a pretty steep $50 + $15. Trump also hosts multi-table tournaments on Monday and Wednesday for $100.
The gameplay at $3/$6 is loose and quite fishy, so decent players should be able to clean up — if variance doesn’t bite you. That happened to me — twice — but I bit back.
I arrived at Trump at about 4 pm and sat down at the table with $250 in chips after a brief wait. I then proceeded to play Texas Fold’em for about four hours, and lost almost $200 just bleeding the blinds away. I didn’t want to leave broke, but I didn’t want to leave without at least picking up one decent hand. I did — aces — and won a big pot with aces full. I won another with Ks/Kd when the flop came with the Kd, another diamond and a blank card. I’d raised preflop and on the flop with my set of kings, and was called by just one other person. The turn was another blank, but the river was 6d and he suddenly raised my river value bet. I agonized, but threw in $6 to call, expecting a really trashy flush. Thankfully, he had Kh/6h, thinking his two pair had suddenly overtaken top pair with a better kicker.
At 9:30 I was ahead, and wondered how much I was going to make now that I’d figured out just exactly how fishy the table was. (I usually find tables online that are weak-tight, where players fold hands instead of chasing longshots.) So, of course, it all fell apart. I had a set get wrecked by 7/4, which made a straight. I flopped the nut straight with J/10 and capped all postflop rounds with two other players, thinking they had worse straights and I’d have them crushed. No: one other player had J/10 and one called down to river a flush.
So again I was under $50, but vowed to get it all back again or blow it all trying. My luck changed after a couple of tables condensed after midnight. I was in the cutoff position and the hand was a “kill pot.” Don’t be embarrassed if you don’t know what that is; I didn’t either, when I sat down. Kill pots occur when any one player wins two consecutive hands (outright; no chopping). For as long as that player continues to win, the limit is doubled. The blinds stay the same (in this case, $1 and $3) but the player on the kill pot posts the higher small bet ($6) blind no matter what position he or she is in.
So I was in the cutoff, and the button posted $6 blind. Just about the whole table limped in, and I decided to make a somewhat loose limp myself with 10d/7d. Many times in kill pots, the player will raise to $12 to pressure the table and force everyone to fold, keeping his streak going. But with about 73 limpers in already, I didn’t have to worry so much about that.
The flop came with the 6d, another 6, and another small diamond (I think it was the 5), giving me a lousy flush draw. But the flop was checked around and the turn brought 10h, giving me a pretty good hand. Fourth street doubled the already-doubled blinds. It was checked to the player two seats to my right, who bet $12. After the next player called, I immediately and enthusiastically jacked it up to $24, prompting the rest of the table to murmur that I slowplayed trip sixes. My raise forced out the rest of the table, including the last person to check, who showed 10c before folding.
The river was another complete blank, and the two other players checked it to me. I could have — and probably should have — bet, but still feared a checkraise from trips (people played good hands very strangely sometimes) and checked to show down my two pair with a rotten kicker. The player who folded the other ten cursed his misread, the rest of the table gasped at my bold play, and I scooped a nearly $100 pot that put me up for good.
More than fifteen hours after walking in with $250, I walked out at 7:30 AM with exactly $273.
Next time I go, I think I’ll bring a bigger bankroll — and some diaper wipes to clean off the filthy chips. I know I’m fighting a losing battle, but seriously, those things were nasty. I might just stay at online play just so I don’t have to go through announcing a $3 call, try to throw three white chips in, and watch as a bundle of five chips practically superglued to each other go bouncing across the table.
Posted by Mike as Poker, Reviews at 12:17 PM PDT
7 Comments »
SK and I are going to Vegas for our anniversary. We’ll be there Oct 22-24th. If you are in the area and want to meet up for a drink, let me know!
Also, I’m looking for advice on where to play. I think I’ll stick to the cheap limit poker. What are the limits available? 3/6? 5/10? Where should I go? Any places to avoid?
After playing the worst first hand of live poker *ever*, I’m a little nervous about sitting down at a real table. I won’t wear sunglasses or any Party Poker gear. Any other tips?
Posted by Jaxia as Life, Poker at 2:25 AM PDT
5 Comments »
The first ever Wil Wheaton dot net tournament got going with 96 players. Jaxia was at table 5 (as was host Wil), I was at table 4. Not too long into the tournament, Jaxia got knocked down to just 300 in chips from a starting point of 1500. Things looked grim, but she managed to fight her way back to even.
Not too long after that, I suffered a rough loss and was down to just 45 chips. Yeah, that was pretty bad. The very next hand I was dealt the King - Jack of hearts. What the heck? thought I, and I called all-in. That hand quadrupled me up when I made a straight. The next hand I had Queen - Ten, and pushed all in. One caller there doubled me up again. Not too much later, I doubled up another time, and was back in the running.
I managed to fight my way up valiantly, and at one point was in 10th place before going somewhat card dead. Then I wound up all-in pre-flop with Ace - King, called by Ace - Queen. A queen on the flop cripled me, leaving me with just over 1000 chips (at a point when the average chip stack was around 4000). I pushed all-in with pocket 6’s, and ran into… pocket Aces. And that was the end of my tournament, out in 25th place.
Jaxia, however, was doing great. She was up over 10,000 in chips, and was fighting mightily at a very tough table. Then a bad beat from a small stack knocked her down to 3700 chips when her TPTK was sucked out on by a straight.
She kept fighting though, but were looking tough. The tournament was down to 13 people, the top 9 seats payed, and she was in 10th. Getting desperate, with 400/800/50 blinds, she pushed with Q - 10 and was called by pocket 9s. The flop came with two queens, and she doubled up. Not too much later, though, she had to fold pocket kings to an ace-high flop where a large stack bet and a larger one raised all-in. That pretty much doomed her, and she went out on the bubble in 10th place when she had to push with Ace deuce offsuit as she couldn’t post more than the blinds.
And that, as they say, was that. I’d say overall the stealtheblinds.net crew comported themselves very well, and congrats to Jax for making it to 10th out of 96 people!
Posted by Beck as Poker at 5:45 PM PDT
4 Comments »
Well, I finally got set up to play on an online poker site. I’ve been playing poker for just about a year now, so I figured it was time to take the leap.
If you happen to run into Beck2Knaves (ring any bells Jaxia?) on PokerStars, drop by and say hello!
I first sat down at a $0.50 - $1.00 limit table to get a feel for the interface. In fewer than two orbits, I already had a player explaining to me what a fish I was! Ah, online poker, I have arrived.
I also tried my hand at some low buy-in SNGs. They weren’t the fishy all-in fests I’d expected. I suspect that has something to do with playing at PokerStars rather than at Party. The first three that I played, I lost (including being the first to bust out one time after my Q-Q ran into K-J. I flopped a set, but the turn gave the other guy a straight). The 4th SNG I played I took down 1st place.
Yeah, I think I’m going to like online poker.
And since I’m set up to play online poker, I thought I might as well sign up for this:
What: WWdN Where’s My Burrito? Invitational
Where: PokerStars.
When: Friday, October 14th. 4:00 PM EST
Password: monkey
Tournament number: 13722477
Buy-in: $10+1
It’s open to anyone who knows the password, so jump on in. The water is warm. And I promise I won’t bite.
No promises about raising your blinds though.
Posted by Beck as Poker at 1:10 AM PDT
2 Comments »
Rather than attempting to make some profound poker observation or teach some deep, meaningful lesson, I’m just going to tell some random poker stories.
Not too long ago, a former Mrs. America sat down at my table. The Mrs. America contest is different from the Miss America contest, but it’s the same basic principle, just for married women. Of course, she was in her 70s, but she still had all the personality you would expect in a beauty pageant winner. She threw around money like you wouldn’t believe. She was one of those gamblers who liked to brag about how much she lost. She showed us all her special Caesars Palace comp card–complete with photograph. When she left, she informed us she wished she could stay, but she had a limo waiting to take her back to Long Island.
Yeah, she had money. In the brief time she was at our table, she lost over $1000. She informed us she was ‘a player,’ but basically she just played at random. She was having fun, though, and would pay off bets from players that she liked just because she wanted to see them happy and winning money. I made a lot of money off her. When she left, she gave me a hug. Some weird things happen in poker rooms.
*****
I once sat next to a restaurant owner in a NL game. I have a standing invitation for a free meal from him any time. He proudly declared that he will call any bet on the flop if he has an open-ended straight draw or a flush draw. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about pot odds, he would call an all-in bet. And he did, too. He won pretty big that game, thanks to luck blessing his fearless play.
He told one of the worst bad beat stories I’ve heard. He was up at Foxwoods, playing a very high stakes NL game. He had pocket kings, and the flop came A-K-K. He wound up all-in for over $10,000 against another player who, astonishingly, only had an A - 7. The turn and the river ran Ace, Ace (the odds of which are 1 in 990) giving the other guy quad aces to beat the restaurateur’s quad kings.
*****
Here’s the strangest bad-beat I’ve witnessed. I was playing $10-$20 limit. The player UTG–who up ’til now I had thought of as merely a below-average player, not a ludicrously bad one–limps. The woman UTG +1 was a very good player, and she raised. Someone behind her reraised. I folded when the action got to me. The UTG limper called the two raises cold, and the woman promptly capped the action with a re-re-raise, and everyone still in the hand called.
Three people saw a flop of 3 - 4 - 5. UTG checked, the woman bet, the third person in the hand folded, and UTG called. The turn was an 8. Check, bet, call. The river was a 6. UTG bet out. The woman cursed a bit, and made a crying call. The UTG player turned up 2 - 7 offsuit for a 7 card long straight to the 8. The woman, naturally, had pocket Aces.
That’s right. He limped under the gun with the hammer (which is just plain wrong–if you’re going to play the hammer, for the love of god, RAISE!). Then he called two raises cold with it. Then, on the flop, he called flop and turn bets with just an inside straight draw. Astonishing.
Needless to say, the woman promptly went on mega-tilt. This particularly amused me, as earlier she had been lecturing another player about how she never went on tilt.
*****
My friend Pat witnessed the next story–I wasn’t there–but I trust him absolutely. A gambler with a ton of money sat down in a NL game and proceeded to play every single hand blind. He would only look at his hole cards if someone went all-in. Inevitably, he wound up dropping thousands of dollars. At one point, though, he hit an amazing string of luck and ran his $300 buy-in up to $1500.
One player at the table was of the annoying criticize-everyone-else’s-play types. I hate this type of player. What, exactly, do they hope to accomplish by criticizing others’ play? Do they want others to play better against them? What in hell are they thinking?
In case you can’t tell, this is one of my major pet peeves. Also, without fail, players like this are almost always bad players themselves. My theory is that they relentlessly criticize others’ play as a form of denial. They need to find some way to explain why they aren’t winning players, so they blame it on others.
Anyway, the guy was constantly carping at the guy playing blind (which, wow, are you really trying to drive away the filthy rich guy who likes to gamble and skips that little step where you look at your cards???). Eventually, the gambler got tired of it and just said, “OK, how about you just play your smart cards, and I’ll play my dumb cards, and we’ll see who wins.”
Not long after that, a hand came up where the “smart” player was betting all the way. The flop was Ace - 2 - 2, the turn was a 5, and the river was a blank. The “smart” player turns up a 3 - 4 for the wheel straight, and loudly proclaims his poker greatness and brilliance. The gambler then declared, “Oh yeah, I bet I have two 2s here in the hole for quads.” This, naturally, is met with derision. “I’ll bet $500 I’ve got pocket deuces.”
That’s a 1 in 990 shot folks. So yeah, you take an even money bet on a 989 to 1 shot any day of the week.
You already guessed it of course. The hole cards were deuces.
Posted by Beck as Poker at 12:44 AM PDT
3 Comments »
I took a happy trip down variance lane at the start of my most recent poker session. Afterwards, I was marveling at the luck involved, and wondered what the chances of such a great run of cards was.
Actually, the cards were running pretty unremarkably. What was notable was this:
In two hours, I was dealt pocket aces four times. All four times, an ace came on the flop, giving me a set of aces.
So I decided to run some numbers (note: I’m assuming 35 hands per hour played on average).
Probability of being dealt pocket aces in any one hand: ~0.45%
Probability of flopping a set to any pocket pair: ~12%
Probability of being dealt pocket aces in a given two hour period: ~32%
Probability of being dealt pocket aces & having them flop a set in any given 2 hour period: ~4%
In other words, in any given two hours of playing, you have about a 4% chance of finding yourself with a set of aces on the flop. Put another way, every 52 to 53 hours of time spent at the table, you should expect to see a set of aces once.
Now, what are the odds of this roughly 4% chance happening four times in the same 2 hour period?
Roughly 1 in 480,000.
To really put that in perspective, realize that the event we’re describing is an occurrence which happens within a 2 hour period. You should expect this to happen once in every 480,000 two hour periods of poker you play. If you played 16 hours a day every single day of the year, you would expect to be dealt pocket aces 4 times in a two hour period, then flop an ace all 4 times, only once in 164 years. If you figure you only play poker 40 hours a week (i.e. a normal “work week”), you would have to play for 230 years.
Did I mention that all 4 times, the aces held up to win?
Posted by Beck as Poker at 2:56 AM PDT
5 Comments »
